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單期簡介
戰術性同理心
影響人心、促成交易的談判高招
每次對話都是一場談判。那些總是取得最佳結果的人,往往不是最會說服的人;相反地,他們最擅長的是讓對方感到被傾聽與被認可。 Every conversation is a negotiation. The people who consistently achieve the best outcomes are not those who are the most persuasive. Rather, the people who do best make others feel heard and validated.
2026-07-15 /  689  7
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看穿對手的內心

談判達成理想協議的關鍵在於看清對方。要做到這點,你需要問幾個問題,然後感同身受地去傾聽,即便他們是你的對手。試著了解他們的需求、顧慮和感覺。如果能夠做到這點,你就是一個更優秀的談判者。

磨練你的眼力

「眼力」(눈치)是有5000年歷史的韓國概念,指的是在沒有直接溝通的情況下理解他人想法和感受的能力。眼力類似日本的「讀空氣」(空気を読む),強調透過解讀肢體語言和語氣變化等非語言暗示,理解言行背後更深層的含義。這種技巧使人能夠運用情緒智商來應對社交壓力和敏感話題,揭示在直接對話中常被忽視的深層洞察。

西方文化重視直接溝通,因此培養眼力可以讓你更好地理解未說出口的情緒和意圖。透過關注肢體語言,例如不一致的手勢或聲調變化,可以察覺隱藏的情緒或欺瞞。提高眼力要從觀察他人開始,觀察人們在各種場合下如何互動。隨著你持續鍛鍊這項技巧,細微的社交暗示將變得更加顯而易見,讓你在每種情況下都能獲得新的視角和更深的理解。

觀看無聲影片──注意人們的肢體語言在表達什麼。

隨時保持廣泛的注意力──注意周圍的氛圍。留意幕後正在發生的事情。

同理型問題

同理型問題有助與人建立關係。這類問題能夠拉近人際距離,因為提問的目的是為了尋求深入的了解,發掘彼此之間的共同點。

同理型問題最好的提問方式如下:

1從源頭問起──詢問開放性問題,打開對方的心房,使他們願意談論早期經驗。

這是怎麼回事?

講述這個經驗時你有何感覺?

你怎麼了?

2繼而進行表示肯定的探詢──詢問有助於形成架構的問題。別問大問題,而是要有方法地逐步揭開事實。

在事情發生之前是怎樣的情況?

你那時喜歡工作的哪一部分?

後來的事情是怎麼發生的?

那時發生了什麼事?

這些事情愈演愈烈讓你有什麼樣的感覺?

這件事有什麼好處?

3拉近距離──接下來提出愈來愈細節的問題,甚至有點私密。藉由臉部表情表現你很有興趣,並且投入更多感情。

事情開始有意思了。後來發生了什麼事?

哇!那一定很精采,然後發生什麼事了?

4專心聆聽對方的敘述──如此才能從中發現任何潛藏的不安全感、不為人知的過去、深刻的幸福或是平靜。如果對方透露極為私密的事情,那是好徵兆。

好,謝謝分享。讓我再追加一個問題,確認我了解你的意思。

那真的是非常令人難忘。事情發生當下你有何感受?

在經歷這一切之後你有何結論?有了這次經驗,你現在有何打算?

同理型問題可能引出非常私人的資訊,因此必須謹慎為之。這種對話往往沒有明顯的結束點,你必須小心不要踰越別人願意分享的界限。時時保持警惕,你若希望面談持續下去,千萬不要提及地雷問題。

「跟我談談……」問題

當你提出「跟我談談……」這個問題時,會有幾件好事發生:

1「跟我談談……」可以讓你確切了解對方如何界定眼前的問題。事實上,你可能會發現他們的看法完全出乎你的預期。「跟我談談……」讓你換位思考。

2「跟我談談……」能與對方建立關係,它代表你真的想了解他們承受的壓力並且做出回應。「跟我談談你自己吧」是最好的開場白。

3「跟我談談……」讓你能夠聽出別人沒有說出口的話。

當然,這個問題的問法也是開放而靈活的,以下是一些可能方式:

「跟我談談你自己吧。」

「跟我談談你今天為何而來?」

「跟我談談你面臨的問題和挑戰。」

「再跟我多談一點。」

「跟我談談你今天過得怎樣。」

「跟我談談你的目標。」

「跟我談談你提出條件了嗎?」

「跟我談談你對這次會議的期望。」

「跟我談談你對這個職缺的人選。」

「跟我談談你對談判桌上的和解條件有何想法。」

「跟我談談你對最近發生的事情有何看法。」

「跟我談談從你的角度看來這是怎麼回事。」

問了「跟我談談……」之後,要給對方足夠的時間回答。不要害怕他們思考時的沉默,其次也要把他們說的話總結重述,如此可以確保你聽到的沒錯,同時也能作為一種邀請,促使對方給出更多回饋和細節。凡此種種都會有助談判的進展。

Hone Your Nunchi

Nunchi, a 5,000-year-old Korean concept, refers to the ability to understand what others are thinking and feeling without direct communication. Similar to Japan's kuuki wo yomu, or "reading the air," nunchi emphasizes interpreting unspoken cues like body language and vocal tone changes to discern deeper meanings behind words or actions. This skill allows individuals to navigate social pressures and sensitive topics with emotional intelligence, revealing layers of insight often overlooked in direct conversations.

In Western cultures, where direct communication is valued, developing nunchi can provide an advantage in understanding unspoken emotions and intentions. By paying attention to body language, such as inconsistent gestures or shifts in vocal tone, one can detect hidden emotions or dishonesty. Improving nunchi starts with people-watching, observing how individuals interact in various settings. As you hone this skill, subtle social cues will become more apparent, offering a new perspective and deeper understanding in every situation.

Watch videos on mute– and note what people's body language is saying.

Always broaden your attention– and read the room. Pick up on what's happening in the background.

Empathetic Questions

Empathetic questions enable you to connect with someone. These kinds of questions bring you closer to others because you're seeking deeper understanding and discovering common ground.

The best ways to ask empathetic questions are:

1Start with origins– ask open-ended questions which invite people to open up and talk about their early experiences.

What's going on here?

How did you feel as this experience unfolded?

What happened to you?

2Move on to appreciative inquiry– by asking questions which frame things in a helpful way. Rather than asking a big question, you unfold things methodically step-by-step.

What was the setting before this happened?

What did you like about your job at that point?

How did subsequent events transpire?

What happened then?

How did these escalating events make you feel?

What were the advantages of this?

3Narrow the distance– by asking follow-up questions which become increasingly detailed and even a little intimate. Signal by your facial expressions that you're interested and you increase the emotional engagement.

Now that's interesting. What happened next?

Wow! That must have been amazing. Then what happened?

4Listen intently to what is being shared– so you pick up on any underlying insecurities, hidden past, deep happiness or tranquility. If they share something intensely private, that's a good sign.

OK, thanks for that. Let me ask a follow-up question to check I understand you.

That is something which is very memorable. What were you feeling while this went down?

What are your conclusions from all you have experienced? Where do you go now with this?

Empathetic questions can generate some very personal information so you have to be careful. Often there's no obvious end-point for the conversation and you have to be careful not to go beyond what the other person is willing to share. Keep your wits about you and make sure you don't ask about no-go subjects if you want to keep the interview going.

"Tell me ..." Question

Several good things happen when you ask the "Tell me ..." question:

1「"Tell me ..." allows you to learn exactly how the other party defines the problem at hand. You may in fact learn they define it in a way you weren't expecting. "Tell me ...." allows you to step into their shoes.

2「"Tell me ..." builds a relationship with the other party. It signals you genuinely want to understand the pressures they are under and respond. "Tell me about yourself" is the perfect ice breaker.

3「"Tell me..." empowers you to listen for what's not being said.

Of course, how you structure this question is also open and flexible. Some possibilities:

"Tell me about yourself."

"Tell me about what brought you here today."

"Tell me about the issues and challenges you face."

"Tell me more."

"Tell me about your day."

"Tell me about your goals."

"Tell me have you made an offer yet?"

"Tell me about your hopes for this meeting."

"Tell me about the person you're looking for to fill this job opening."

"Tell me your thoughts on the settlement offer on the table."

"Tell me your perspective on what's been happening lately."

"Tell me what's been happening from your perspective."

Once you ask a "Tell me..." question, give the other person enough time to answer. Be comfortable with the silence while they think, and then summarize back to them what they say. This ensures you've heard correctly, and it's an invitation to give more feedback and details. All of this will help the negotiation move forward.

推薦書單



NO.660 精準提問
Ask More: The Power of Questions to Open Doors, Uncover Solutions, and Spark Change
by 法蘭克.賽斯諾(Frank Sesno)
中文版:精準提問的力量(三采,2022)



NO.778 10個好問題搞定所有談判
Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything
by 亞歷珊卓.卡特(Alexandra Carter)
中文版:鏡與窗談判課(先覺,2020)



NO.995 洞見思考
Non-Obvious Thinking: How to See What Others Miss
by 羅希特.巴加瓦(Rohit Bhargava)
中文版:發掘洞見(幸福文化,2025)




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